… became the flame of my inspiration.
In this photo, you will see why I have been struggling with Siouxsie for such a long time. On the left is my typical leg position. My heels are down alright, but not the way that’s correct or effective.
As I spend more time focusing on my technical riding, I am discovering bad habits that didn’t seem to be problematic while riding Brody, who is built and rides like a sofa. He’s a beefy guy who is, on the whole, a balanced ride. Siouxsie, on the other hand, being green, built very differently, and has a history of spookiness, is not such a forgiving horse. In the early days of riding Sioux, driving my heel down into the irons may have felt more secure while I was in “defensive driving mode”, but it has now become a major problem for both of us.
Riding with my lower leg like this (and having lost a lot of fitness over the last year) means riding with poor balance – not something a green thoroughbred is going to appreciate.
After seriously ramping up my fitness routine this summer and fall, I couldn’t understand why I still wasn’t secure in the saddle, and why Siouxsie would go around like a Hunter princess one day and a Mongol Derby reject the next.
So I took to YouTube and spent some time watching videos from Wendy Murdoch, Horse Class with Callie King, Mary Wanless, and Deanna Corby. I studied rider biomechanics, watched skeletons post the trot, and scratched my head. What was I doing wrong?
When I finally busted out the Pivo and started watching the playback of my rides on Sioux, I felt an intense shame around what I saw. It was hard to watch. My seat and leg were all sorts of wrong, my upper body pitched forward, then aft, my legs were swinging and my hands were bobbing. Oof. The sad thing is, I didn’t realize any of this. I’d been riding that ways for so long that it felt comfortable because it was familiar to my body. The fact that I felt shame over a very common riding problem deserves volumes of discussion, but I won’t get into that here. Suffice it to say that shame has no benefit to me or my horse (or you and your horse). While I can preach the dangers of seeking perfection until I’m blue in the face, it somehow doesn’t relieve me of chasing it anyway. Sigh. I am a work in progress. Thankfully, I am not alone.
When the heat of my shame subsided and I studied my Pivo videos, the lightbulb I so desperately needed finally switched on. My lower leg was jammed down and forward, making it nearly impossible for me to be in sync with my horse’s movement. So, I ventured back into the ring on my old pal Brody and began experimenting with my leg position–first at the halt and then at the walk. B didn’t mind; he likes to go slow. And since he’s coming back into work from a minor lameness, I figured it was a good time to gently experiment with my position in the saddle.
On Brody’s days off, I hopped on Sioux and asked her to please tolerate my wiggly body a bit longer, and to do her best to keep enough rhythm so I could figure out how to get my body to not interfere with her body. Siouxsie, being the sweet mare that she is, obliged willingly.
As I moved my leg around, practiced what I watched in videos, closed my eyes, dropped my stirrups, knotted my reins, and prayed, Siouxsie started to respond by spending more and more time in her lovely Show Hunter frame, grunting and groaning in a way that tells me she’s letting out built up tension. When my body reverted back to what was familiar, Siouxsie would instantly get hollow in her back and quicken her pace. That’s pretty valuable feedback. I used it judiciously.
I have a lot of homework to do, and that includes more focus on my core strength. My legs are connected to the rest me, and the rest of me hasn’t had many playdates with my core. Ugh. I hate that everything comes back to core strength. But it does. So here we are.
My ego is hugely deflated. It sucks feeling like a beginner all over again, but it sure beats making my horse uncomfortable. And, when I get it right, Siouxsie lets me know in the most fun, flowy, rhythmical way!
At the moment, my right leg is progressing faster than my left (I’m right-side dominant), so I’m also doing exercises on the ground that engage and challenge my left side. With the cold days of winter just around the corner, I’m not sure how much progress I will make this season, but you can bet your buns I’m super motivated to find a balanced, stable, and soft seat before moving on to anything else in my riding endeavors.
If you’re also working on something challenging, don’t give up. If something feels funky, be brave as you search for the reason. Even if what you find means your ego takes a little hit, that’s okay, because it’s the kind of thing that inspires growth and progress. If you don’t know the truth of what you’re dealing with, you’ll never be able to overcome it. So take a peek in the mirrors, set up your Pivo, or have a friend take video. And remember, you’re not alone. There are many, many of us out here struggling to be the best we can, and we make great cheerleaders. That’s what friends are for, after all. 😊 -HH